Het graf met de handjes (The Grave with the Little Hands), Oud Kerkhof, Roermond (The Netherlands) —Josephine Caroline Petronella Hubertina van Aefferden (1820-1888) and Jacob Werner Constant van Gorkum (1809-1880).
"Het graf met de handjes" (The Grave with the Little Hands) is a poignant symbol of enduring love and defiance of societal norms in 19th-century Roermond. During this period, it was customary for Catholics and Protestants to be buried in separate sections of cemeteries, reflecting the saying "twee geloven op een kussen, daar slaapt de duivel tussen" (two religions on one pillow, the devil sleeps between them). This practice was challenged by the love story of Josephine van Aefferden and Jacob van Gorkum.
In 1842, Josephine, a Catholic noblewoman, married Jacob, a Protestant military officer. Their marriage faced strong opposition from Josephine’s family due to their differing religions and Jacob’s lower social status. Despite these challenges, the couple enjoyed a happy marriage for 38 years. Jacob died in 1880 and was buried in the Protestant section of the Oude Kerkhof cemetery, next to the wall separating it from the Catholic section.
When Josephine passed away eight years later, she chose to be buried in the Catholic section, directly opposite Jacob’s grave. To symbolize their eternal love, two identical grave monuments were erected on either side of the wall, connected by sculpted hands reaching over the barrier. This touching tribute defied the religious divisions of the time, illustrating that neither societal conventions nor death could separate the devoted couple.
The inscription "Vivit post funera virtus" (virtue lives on after death) on both gravestones underscores their enduring bond. It is believed that their remains were placed beneath the wall, allowing them to rest side by side for eternity. "Het graf met de handjes" remains a powerful testament to their love and the triumph of personal devotion over rigid societal constraints.
